30.10.13

Pick up lines: Funny vs. Dumb

One of the things I enjoy most about being a female is listening to various pick up lines that guys use. It is not new to anyone by now that women are tripped by what they hear but some pick up lines end up becoming “drop offs” aka game spoilers. It is unbelievable to think that once upon a time people used to write letters in this manner: “It is with deep love in my heart that I pick up this golden pen from my basket of roses to pour out my love for you” others would even say “As I was sleeping a bird sang with a golden voice that reminded me of you and your angelic voice so I decided to write you this letter” (OK so I made up this second one lol) maybe the literature books we studied then influenced us but this is way beyond Shakespeare, it would rather pass for dumbspeare. Imagine a guy walking up to a Politician’s daughter to say “Is your father a thief?” He’s innocent pick up line will land him a dirty slap before he gets the chance to add “because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes”, in fact at this point he will be the one seeing the stolen stars in his eyes…hehehe.

29.10.13

Blackberry owners are not smiling: The beef between blackberry and Android phone users.


I would like to share with you the broadcast message I got yesterday that motivated me to write this article:
We the Blackberry users association of Nigeria have decided not to accept any request from non- blackberry users. If you like be using iphone5, galaxy S4, Nokia camry, Tecno G wagon, we won’t accept! If you must ping go and buy a blackberry and suffer phone hanging and battery problems like us!
Signed:
Bad Belle Movement (BBM)

28.10.13

Dorcas weds Joshua

On Saturday 26th of October 2013 at Our Lady Queen of Nigeria Pro-cathedral in Area 3 Abuja, Dorcas and Joshua were officially pronounced Husband and wife. The reception took place at Education Resource Center in Wuse Zone 7. If you are wondering why every event I cover is in Abuja then the answer is with you. Invite me for yours or send me photos and yours truly will be happy to cover yours too. More photos after the cut...

26.10.13

Celeb of the day: Happy birthday Mr Sesugh Hulugh

Wow; this is my first male celeb on TTB and I am proud to be the channel through which his wife is sending this romantic birthday message. Love nwan tin tin

'Happy birthday my Husband and friend, you are my celeb today and always. I ask myself everyday what I have done to please God to reward me with a crown like you; you have made me a proud wife and mother and I love you to bits and pieces. Have a great birthday now and always'- Mrs Tracy Nguvendan Hulugh

25.10.13

5 Lies that may "Preserve" your relationship

The crazy things I think of ehn. That’s why I am glad I have readers like you who will share these thoughts with me *blows kisses*. I was just thinking about an argument I had with some friends a while ago, it was a battle of the sexes who tells the most lies: Men or women. Anyone who is not biased will agree with me that this argument will be inconclusive so instead of going at each others' necks all the time I have decided to bring something good out of it (talk about nothing good coming out of Nazareth…Lol)

21.10.13

What your Excel spread sheet won't teach you


Financial experts have taught us to always make a budget to enable us check our expenses. A lot of people have adapted the use of excel spread sheets to do the budget most times even before the salary account is credited the money has already been spent on the spread sheet. There are even spread sheets online that have being prepared to help with your wedding budget so this way all you have to enter are the figures(yea; it is that easy so what’s your excuse?). It sounds very encouraging and accessible, in fact I know of people who work with it at every opportunity and they say it’s been really helpful to them but how feasible is it? Whether feasible or not, I have realized there are certain things the spread sheet won’t teach you. Find them out after the cut…

Celeb of the day: Happy birthday Mimi

Mimi celebrated another year added to her yesterday with a pool party that took place at Top rank hotel; as usual yours' truly was there live to bring you exclusive photos. More after the cut...

19.10.13

I had a dream.


Starting from when I was a little girl, I began having this dream. The dream kept reoccurring even as I grew older; some minor details began to change while others seemed to get clearer. The thing about this dream was that it always left a smile on my face and I had this dream even when I wasn’t sleeping. In my dream, I saw my dad walking me down the aisle; I looked so beautiful and happy in my pretty white mermaid wedding dress while clutching my bouquet tightly. As I walked along, I saw familiar faces all light up with a smile at the sight of me. ‘Wow, I must be very pretty’ I thought to myself; my brides maid were already seated, they looked exactly as I had envisioned in their turquoise dresses, well styled hair and perfect make up to wrap up the whole look. My mum couldn’t hide her excitement (as is typical with every mother of the bride), but my gaze was quickly moved to my groom (the faces often changed depending on who I was dating at the moment; lol) he’s smile made my heart beat faster and my feet move according to the rhythm of my heartbeat. He looked breath taking and I could tell he was nervous as I saw some sweat on his forehead before he’s best man could wipe it off. Somewhere in my head I could hear sounds of whistling from my aunties (the typical Tiv whistle), it was indeed a day of joy for everyone, I was amazed at the large crowd that came out to celebrate with me; I felt like a princess and I was happy my groom made this day happen.

16.10.13

Is wooing a thing of the past?

In Shakespearean English it is called wooing, modern slangs refer to it in different ways but most common is “toasting”.  I’ll give you my definition of both; wooing is a more romantic/ gentlemanly approach to getting a lady to date/ marry you while toasting is an impatient guys’ way to get the same result without doing the needful (for me the needful means being transparent and letting me get to know you and in the process of knowing you, please be at my beck and call..lol, ladies you can fill in the needful of your choice). Another point to note is that African or rather naija men toast (no wonder they were intelligent enough to coin the phrase*hiss*) while western men woo (insert love struck smiley), it’s no wonder we all are scrambling to get hooked up with “whiteys” (with other benefits though).

15.10.13

MEN; 50%man, 50%baby

I’ve been feeling guilty of giving more attention to female needs (but what do you expect now? I’m just being true to my roots) so here’s one for the fellas (can I get an Amen in the house? lol, I could only hear the echo of silence). So back to the matter; I’ve decided to talk about the emotional make up of guys to enable you know your man better; consider it a salah special (yea, I’m that generous). They may not admit it, but a lot of them are babies at heart which is quite good, in fact let me even add that if he is 100% man then you should run oo because there is ALWAYS a need for that playful part of them. It makes your relationship easier. Whenever you hear people say “I married my best friend”, this is part of it because I’m quite sure nobody wants to be friends with an uptight person (well I know I don’t).

13.10.13

If "sexy" is impersonated...

If sexy is impersonated, I wonder what she would look like. I know there’s a male and female sexy but pardon me, I’m only interested in the female sexy for now and you will understand why soon enough, just read on (winks). Scarlet Johansson (pictured above) has won the sexiest woman alive for the 2nd time in a row now, I would love to use her as my prototype but unfortunately she is far from being African so please readers join me on the quest to find the ideal sexy African woman; hehehe

12.10.13

'I LOVE YOU'; How to tell when its cliche.


Let’s start by getting to understand the word CLICHÉ. It is defined in the oxford dictionary as ‘an idea or phrase that has been used so much that it is not effective or does not have any meaning any longer’. From this definition, I’m sure you will all agree with me that those 3 words have a tendency to lose their meaning easily. Quite often I’ve heard ladies say “he said he loved me, how could he do this to me?’ or guys who say “women are not to be trusted” “women are evil” and so on. All these wrong perceptions people have about love is because they fell victim to people who told them “I love you” without truly meaning it. For some time now this has really bothered me so I thought to bring it up so that we can all learn from each other. Since I don’t have all the pointers on figuring out when 'I love u' becomes cliché, I will give the few that I know and then you can add some.

10.10.13

The sting of death

Dedicated to all the loved ones we have lost
The moment you hear the devastating news is a moment you would give anything in the world to take back. In that instant you have a million flashes right before your eyes; the past you shared with the person, the present news of his/her demise and a bleak future without them in your life, all at once. That is the venom from the sting sinking deep into your system, intoxicating your mind, taking away your peace, joy and even sleep and replacing those with bitterness, fear of the unknown and no desire to be hopeful.

8.10.13

When will it get to me?


I was just going through my timeline on face book this morning when I noticed that my namesake whom we attended secondary school together has gotten engaged and I commented in her status “my namesy is getting married which means the queue has moved to M so everyone whose name begins with an M start dancing” (by the way the M stands for my native name for those who may be wondering). That comment actually got me thinking so I decided to share my thoughts with you.

7.10.13

Something's gotta give...


This is the very essence of co-habiting and as a result of our many differences as humans; something’s always gotta give. I can hear someone asking “what does that even mean?” I will use the illustration from the movie played by Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson with the same title (that movie actually inspired this article). Jack Nicholson plays the role of an old man with an adventurous spirit who likes to date younger girls and get all the excitement he can while at it. He then happens to start dating Diane Keaton’s young daughter and when they meet (Jack and Diane) she is not happy with the relationship and especially since she is an old fashioned introvert that believes things should be done a certain way. Eventually they both fall in love, jack has to give up his love for younger women and Diane also brings out the adventurous side of her from within.

6.10.13

The kitchen; A man or a woman's place?


Growing up as a child, my mom always made sure I was in the kitchen with her when she was cooking. As a young girl then, all I wanted to do was to play, watch TV or go over to my friend’s house. I had no business with the kitchen as far as I was concerned, it was boring. I only wanted to eat what came out of there. My mom never let me hear the last of it; how I wouldn’t make a good wife if I didn’t know how to cook.  And so I started by learning how to do the dishes, even when I wasn’t tall enough to reach the kitchen sink I was given a stool to stand on, she would ask me to help unwrap the maggi cubes, help hold the meat while she cut it and so on. Soon enough I started grinding pepper, par boiling rice, cutting okro and other little things. It really did feel good at that point because I began having a sense of responsibility that I contributed in cooking the food that everyone was eating.

2.10.13

What would you do?

If you woke up one morning (it is a working day), and you are sure you overslept then you turn to look at the time on your phone but your battery is dead and there's no light to charge it. You don't have another means of telling time, no wristwatch, no wall clock and no second phone. You also don't have other people living in your compound, no security guard, its just you. How will you get ready for work? Or would you rather not Go? Please send in your answers, they might save a person's job...lol

CELEB FOR THE DAY-Happy birthday Dr Avese Torbunde

Happy birthday Dr Avese Torbunde, we love you and wish you many more beautiful years ahead. Because your birthday is in line with Nigeria's Independence celebration, i would like to say a quick prayer for you. 'May you never be independent of God's Love and Favour in all your endeavours, but that he will make you Independent of  problems that causeworry in Jesus name' ...Amen

For others who would like to be celebrated with their loved ones on occasions such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries and the likes, please send your photo to ticiatowns@gmail.com; let the citizens celebrate with you

1.10.13

The art of Cakery

Once in a while i am going to sway from the usual stuff you are used to reading here, now is one of such times. One of my favorite channels on DSTV is  the Food network channel, i enjoy watching Cake boss, Amazing wedding cakes, Charly's cake angels... i am so thrilled at the creativity of those bakers. Gone are the days of plain boring round or square cakes; and the way they get their inspiration is a different ball game. They use cakes to depict one's personality and tell a story.

That really got me thinking about passion and dedication. Passion is the bedrock of every successful person and when backed with dedication; success is inevitable. We all need to find what we are passionate about. I know that the society we live in now does not really encourage you to do that  because you are even considered to be 'lucky' to get a job not to talk about leaving it to follow your dream of being a baker or tailor or even a hair dresser.

Once upon a time in Nigeria


Once upon a time, a very long time ago, Nigerians were able to travel overseas without a visa and 1 dollar was equivalent to 1 naira. 53 years down the line it is a different ball game all together. In fact we don’t only apply for visas; we have to pay a bond of 3000 pounds to enter the UK. What went wrong? What happened to the platform that was set by our colonial masters? We must have learnt something from them, at what point did we drop that lesson? For us to have gotten independence I believe that’s because we were mature enough to take care of ourselves.