12.10.13

'I LOVE YOU'; How to tell when its cliche.


Let’s start by getting to understand the word CLICHÉ. It is defined in the oxford dictionary as ‘an idea or phrase that has been used so much that it is not effective or does not have any meaning any longer’. From this definition, I’m sure you will all agree with me that those 3 words have a tendency to lose their meaning easily. Quite often I’ve heard ladies say “he said he loved me, how could he do this to me?’ or guys who say “women are not to be trusted” “women are evil” and so on. All these wrong perceptions people have about love is because they fell victim to people who told them “I love you” without truly meaning it. For some time now this has really bothered me so I thought to bring it up so that we can all learn from each other. Since I don’t have all the pointers on figuring out when 'I love u' becomes cliché, I will give the few that I know and then you can add some.

  • ·         If your partner is not an honest person: You may not agree with me but integrity has a part to play in your relationship. Forget all those people who say love is blind; even if you choose to be blind to every other thing, my sister I beg you not to be blind to his integrity…you will thank me later. I have been in a relationship with a guy before who never told me he loved me (that’s so embarrassing for me to say) looking back now, I appreciate that he never said those words, but he treated me even better than most people who claim to be in love. He did not see the need to deceive me when he did not feel the same way I did, neither did he prey on my vulnerability (my being in love with him). 


  • ·         If your partner is guided by rules: Hmm, just thinking about this one alone is making me laugh already. There are people who have guidelines to everything and if your partner is one of such people then trust me, he/she is probably using “the idiots guide to a perfect relationship” on you lol. These rules vary but I’ll try to mention a few. Call her every morning and night, bring her lunch at work, open the car door and pull out a chair for her, tell her you love her after 1 month of knowing her, tell her you love her after every conversation. Please don’t get me wrong, some of these are actually real but we can still tell the ones that are cliché. They may be doing it because that is what’s expected not because they really feel like it; this kind vanishes immediately the cookie has been given out.


  • ·         If you force it out of him/her: Yes, I said it. Some of us are the architects of our own problems. You make difficult demands and the person decides to indulge you because they don’t want to be nagged. Imagine if I had complained then to my boyfriend that “why am I the only one who keeps telling you I love you? Won’t you tell me too?” and he decided to please me by telling me what I wanted to hear just to satisfy me; an illusion of love would have been created. I believe that love exists, but until you are fortunate to find it, I don't think you should settle. Make up your mind today not to contribute in making it cliche because eventually, you will reap what you sow.


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