Dedicated to all the loved ones we have lost
The moment you hear the devastating news is a moment you
would give anything in the world to take back. In that instant you have a
million flashes right before your eyes; the past you shared with the person, the
present news of his/her demise and a bleak future without them in your life, all
at once. That is the venom from the sting sinking deep into your system,
intoxicating your mind, taking away your peace, joy and even sleep and replacing
those with bitterness, fear of the unknown and no desire to be hopeful.
On the 13th of January, while surfing the net, I came
across an article that said “Young Dr shot dead in broad day light in Lagos
traffic” immediately I saw the photo I knew it was Dr Irawo Adamolekun.
NOOOOOOOOO!!! How could this be? Irawo can’t be dead, I wasn’t ready yet. I and
Irawo were really good friends and like friends do, we had a misunderstanding
that made me cut him off completely. He made efforts to reach out to me but I was
still not ready to talk to him; I thought I had a lifetime with Irawo so I was
taking my time to deal with the pain he had caused me. I had spent just a
little fraction of the time I envisaged, or is this how short a lifetime is?
Irawo died without having me forgive him, I was completely devastated. I tried
to call him on Friday, 11th of January, there was a desperate urge
to speak with him then since I felt better and was ready for us to make up;
his phone rang but there was no response and I was starting to get upset again
as I kept saying to myself “this guy is not even happy that I’m calling him he’s
now forming busy for me abi?” little did I know that “this guy” was already
dead and even if he wanted to pick my call, he couldn’t.
I looked at that article over and over and over, praying
that the name would miraculously change, or that another story would spring up
saying he has been revived or that the story was even a prank…but none of that
happened, I had to wake up to reality. It was a hard blow to deal with, for
many nights I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t function well at work. I kept replaying the last time i saw him, and imagining what his last breath felt like. All of these i did just to get closure but none of it worked. It was even
harder because the news was everywhere on the internet, there was no escaping
this horror; but I did. Eventually with time, I healed. 10months down the line,
the hurt and pain is gone but not a day goes without me thinking of what I would
have done differently if I knew how little his time on earth was; referring to
him in past tense is a daily reminder that I lost someone special and so did
you at some point in your life. So No, I am not just writing from my
imagination, I am writing from my experience. Despite how hard is to relieve
those moments I want to share with someone who is hurting right now that you
CAN/WILL get through it; I can’t tell you how long it will take you but I know
for sure you will. May they continue to Rest in Peace…Amen
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