Is wooing a thing of the past?

In Shakespearean English it is called wooing, modern slangs refer to it in different ways but most common is “toasting”.  I’ll give you my definition of both; wooing is a more romantic/ gentlemanly approach to getting a lady to date/ marry you while toasting is an impatient guys’ way to get the same result without doing the needful (for me the needful means being transparent and letting me get to know you and in the process of knowing you, please be at my beck and call..lol, ladies you can fill in the needful of your choice). Another point to note is that African or rather naija men toast (no wonder they were intelligent enough to coin the phrase*hiss*) while western men woo (insert love struck smiley), it’s no wonder we all are scrambling to get hooked up with “whiteys” (with other benefits though).

Recently though, I noticed that our men have become so laid back, they don’t even toast you anymore. Some even say that because men are scarce, girls are the ones doing the toasting and they can have any girl they desire. Based on that we can’t even do the shakara we are entitled to any more; once he makes a pass and you are forming he just leaves never to return. The trend now is that girl meets boy, they both notice the chemistry(maybe physical or personality bond) and next thing the boy wants to make out and that’s the beginning of  a relationship *sigh*To think that I used to fall for this kind of thing alone makes me sick just remembering it. years ago when I was in the university, I felt like it was old fashioned to ask a girl out, in fact based on the silly theory of mine I never said yes to a guy who out rightly asked me out and before you start judging me, let me tell you my reason for doing that. I looked at toasting like marketing a product (the product being the guy of course), you know how marketers have a way with words, a good marketer can make you purchase a Honda if your initial target was a Mercedes and sometimes at the price of the mercedes if you are not careful. If you even happen to fall into the hands of a ‘con’ toaster, please permit me to use this language “your own don be”. Besides that, I also found it hard to handle the awkward conversation because it just didn’t sound right in my ears; imagine this with me:lol

BOY- Hey baby, you are looking very take away (as some would say) I want you to be my girlfriend.

                        GIRL- Yes bobo, I will be your girlfriend.

Fast forward a few years later, with me being older and wiser I have decided to take my chances and be toasted but they are not forth coming. Its either they want you to understand the passes they make such as calling you 3 times a day (breakfast, lunch and dinner), taking you out(occasionally) etc or they want to automatically move from the friend zone to being your boyfriend; it no longer works that way. Now even though I still know it is marketing, I see it in a better light and I am mature enough to resist the Honda and insist on my Mercedes, now I know that not everything goes. I can’t be carried away by the initial chemistry anymore, I want you to state your intentions and while doing that, please make me feel special, show me the things I will enjoy if I say yes and trust me if they are good enough, no matter how awkward the conversation may sound in my head, I’ll blurt out the YES anyway. I know I speak for all ladies out there when I say this is the time we feel special because when we get in the tables are turned so dear men, do oblige us will you?