A TRIBUTE TO 2013

Every youngster aspires to live the dream some day and for most like me who come from small, fairly developed states that may not even be identified on the map or have been heard of just once: not for the best reasons one can think of, we can only fulfill these dreams by moving to the larger cities and I chose Abuja the Federal Capital Territory. My journey in Abuja started about 4 years ago (wow, I can’t believe its 4 years already), I remember it clearly just like it was yesterday. Fresh out of youth service, with high hopes of landing my dream job with ECOWAS (since that was what mum told me to convince me to study French, not that I regret it though) being independent in every sense of the word at a very young age and falling in love with one HOT dude, getting married… it was nothing short of picture perfect.

A runs girl’s worst Nightmares

I have been cracking my brain for an appropriate and PG description for a runs girl, for the benefit of those who may not understand the terminology and trust me it has proven to be very difficult. For lack of a better instance, let’s just say a runs girl is into the property exchange business (the property being her body for his money of course).  While most people may abhor and judge runs girls, there are still a fraction of ladies out there who envy them and want to be in their shoes. To experience their lifestyle, the money they get to handle and people they meet. She uses the latest gadgets, shops wherever and anytime she wants, she wears the finest and most expensive weaves and has all the connections with politicians and socialites; technically she is living the life. It may even seem as if she has found an ‘easy’ way of making money; after all is it not just sex? How hard can that be? They might ask but my dears, it is way beyond sex and their lives aren’t as picture perfect as portrayed so to drive my point home, here are a few nightmares these people you admire also face.

THE HASSLES OF DATING A TWIN.

My friend Sandra is dating a twin, a few days ago was to be their birthday and Sandra was in a dilemma. She came to me seeking friendly advice and asked “Leticia this cake I am making for Taiye, should I write happy birthday to Taiye and Kehinde”? “As how na?” was my reply “is Kehinde also your boyfriend?” and with those very words came the idea for this article. While I kept teasing her about the hassles of dating a twin, Sandra claimed that twins are also normal human beings and so there is no difference in dating a guy who is a twin or who isn’t but I plan to prove otherwise after this article.

Happy married life Dooyum and Paul (white wedding)

We all remember Dooyum and Paul from their traditional wedding don't we? These two love birds had their white wedding on Saturday 23rd of November 2013. The Bride chose Red, Ash and White for her colors and I must say they came out looking very lovely. Ticiatowns wishes you a blissful ever after and lots of children; Amen.  More Photos when you continue

With THESE I thee wed

Yes you read right. It’s not a typographical error; I meant to say “these”. Have you ever wondered how a little gold ring (some don’t even have the decency to buy you a gold ring sef, but going by the colour permit me to call it gold) is exchanged between a couple as they read their vows saying “with this I thee wed” and they go ahead to pledge their bodies, loyalty, submission, money and every iota of emotion and feeling to each other? Aren’t all these things enough to change that phrase to “with these I thee wed”? Whoever coined that phrase really needs to meet me for a one on one because right now I am bitter and out for a change*straight face*

Where is that Patient dog?

According to a popular proverb they say the patient dog eats the fattest bone but I say the patient dog waits so long sometimes the fastest bone isn’t enough (but it is better than none). As a Nigerian that I am, there are many incidences we experience daily which discredit this proverb and cause you to seat down and think twice, probably even get mad at yourself and whatever made you believe that patience would work for you. This virtue is tested every day, at the market place, while using the ATM, or even waiting to use the convenience at a restaurant or the saloon. Do you ever pass these tests? I guess we all know that the more you pass your tests the better you get in that subject and the more confident you will be in that field but even when you fail, it is not enough to give up cos trust me, there’s another test just right there waiting for you to take it. I want to let you in on a little secret…Patience births courtesy.

More photos of Baby North West revealed

 

Kim Kardashian today shared more photos of 5month old daughter North West aka Nori on her instagram page. You may ask me how that is news, well if you are a child of 2 famous parents with a unique name then you have no choice but to make headlines.Also all eyes are on the toddler to see if she'll possess the good looks of her mama (my eyes are on her sha, I don't know about yours). Another photo after the cut.

Happy married life: Dorothy weds Tom

On the 1st of January 2013(New year), Tom made a new year resolution- To spend the rest of his life with this Southern belle Dorothy* awww, that's so sweet* Fast forward a few months later, on the 9th of November 2013, all roads led to Bayelsa for the traditional rights where the journey into marital bliss would begin for these 2. I'm such a hopeless romantic now see the love in their eyes... more photos after the cut

WEAVES: In or Out?

Growing up I heard a story not sure how true it is though, of a woman who was wearing a weave on a bus and when she came off the bus another lady who turned out to be a spirit asked her to give back the weave she had on claiming it was her hair. After much struggle the 1^st lady removed the weave but later died on getting home. This story meant that weaves were gotten from dead women and somehow had spiritual implications for people who used these weaves. Over the years the kind of weaves used by ladies have evolved tremendously, gone are the days of synthetic hairs like Darling Yaky, premium too, Noble etc the trend in weaves now are human hairs such as Peruvian, Malaysian, Cambodian, Brazilian etc. When human hair hit the scenes a few years ago, it was a way of “showing your level” in the female kingdom. The kind of weave and length of it determines how “big” you are; Husbands and boyfriends are being put on the spot to buy human hair and comedians have also gotten a big break in their careers joking about it. They say A lady Who is wearing Brazilian hair and complaining of headache doesn’t need a prophet to tell her that she’s carrying plots of land on her head and that armed robbers this days no longer say “your money or your life” but instead they say “your hair or your life” LOL. These entire jokes center on the monetary value of weaves, yes they were quite expensive when they initially entered the market. People were spending hundreds of thousands just to buy hair but I mean, weaves are to ladies what wristwatches are to guys so let us splurge biko *tongue out*. This was also the point when every guy seemed to be #teamnatural# claiming they prefer their ladies to look natural (yet they’ll be tripping for Kim Kadarshian and Beyonce) just because their avarice wouldn’t allow them see the ease of using weaves. Yes I say ease because it is better to buy one good hair that’s easy to comb and use always than buying synthetic hair that would tangle after 2 days of fixing and if you think I’m lying try running your hands through my hair and see if you can tell the difference (hehehe bragging rights). Need I even mention the beauty, style and class it adds to a lady? So all that being said, I know we still have our preferences so for those of us who still prefer some good authentic weaves, below are a few photos to wet your appetite and you can Contact Mimiee for 100% Human hair on -

08037845963 to place your orders

Catching the Bouquet: A twisted myth.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love going for weddings. There’s a lot about weddings that make me want to keep going even if it means crashing the party (let he who hasn’t crashed a wedding cast the first laugh). From the décor, to the music, the feel of love in the air, the high earn fashion that entertains and the food of course (you didn’t think I wouldn’t mention that did you?) but most importantly, I like being part of a couples’ most beautiful and memorable day. Parts of the memories made on that day include throwing the bouquet by the bride. This is when you see ladies who are supposed to be the brides’ friends doing all the ‘effizy’ in the world. The MC can scream all he wants yet everyone still stays glued to their seats, is it because they are shy? Or they don’t want to be seen as “single ladies” as that’s usually the song the DJ plays in the background but truth is even if you come out or not, it doesn’t automatically mean you have ported from single to married.

Be warned! Dieting is not mocked!!!

Nike is a diet freak! Everything sweet has been deleted from her menu, she eats only boring stuff like wheat biscuit, wheat bread and in fact anything wheat is considered a meal for her. Whenever she discovers a new "interesting" menu she comes to work happily to share her new discovery which most times is of no use to me. I always wonder how she copes and and when I asked she said she disciplined herself to start enjoying these foods. By the way Nike is my colleague and she’ll probably kill me after reading this but I have to give my readers something to read now so please pardonez moi (I had to say that in the language of love and hopefully it’ll do the trick and keep me alive; LOL) So back to the gist, one faithful day I checked Nike’s PM and She was craving Cookies and Milkshake, none of which are made of wheat and when I chatted her up she said “abeg let me indulge myself, 1 day won’t hurt”. The response I gave her is what inspired me to write this article “Dieting is not mocked”.

Dooyum Weds Paul

 Dooyum and Paul Completed the traditional rights of their wedding on Saturday, the 2nd of November 2013. The bride who hails from Buruku local government area in Benue state had friends and family travel down to make the day a memorable one for the couple. The bride looks really pretty and as guys will say "Paul carry eyes enter market*lol. Wishing you both a happy married life. More pictures after the cut...

AED at Forty not Rusty

On Monday, 28th October 2013 Emmanuel Adejo aka AED proved to us that 40 does not mean Rusty as he celebrated in grand style with friends and family at THE CLAN CAFE in Maitama, Abuja. Happy birthday in arrears sir, more photos after the cut...

THE BENUE CARNIVAL

Benue Carnival is a cultural carnival and an annual event that began five (5) years ago. The event is a celebration whereby Benue indigenes are allowed to showcase their God given talents to the world. Individuals or groups who perform credibly are awarded prizes and selected based on merit for sponsorship to represent the state in cultural events in Nigeria and beyond.
Culture is a veritable tool for social and economic development. The main vision of this event is to integrate the various cultural behaviors in the state with those of other ethnic groups from other parts of Nigeria and nations at large.

Pick up lines: Funny vs. Dumb

One of the things I enjoy most about being a female is listening to various pick up lines that guys use. It is not new to anyone by now that women are tripped by what they hear but some pick up lines end up becoming “drop offs” aka game spoilers. It is unbelievable to think that once upon a time people used to write letters in this manner: “It is with deep love in my heart that I pick up this golden pen from my basket of roses to pour out my love for you” others would even say “As I was sleeping a bird sang with a golden voice that reminded me of you and your angelic voice so I decided to write you this letter” (OK so I made up this second one lol) maybe the literature books we studied then influenced us but this is way beyond Shakespeare, it would rather pass for dumbspeare. Imagine a guy walking up to a Politician’s daughter to say “Is your father a thief?” He’s innocent pick up line will land him a dirty slap before he gets the chance to add “because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes”, in fact at this point he will be the one seeing the stolen stars in his eyes…hehehe.

Blackberry owners are not smiling: The beef between blackberry and Android phone users.

I would like to share with you the broadcast message I got yesterday that motivated me to write this article:

We the Blackberry users association of Nigeria have decided not to accept any request from non- blackberry users. If you like be using iphone5, galaxy S4, Nokia camry, Tecno G wagon, we won’t accept! If you must ping go and buy a blackberry and suffer phone hanging and battery problems like us!

Signed:

Bad Belle Movement (BBM)

Dorcas weds Joshua

On Saturday 26th of October 2013 at Our Lady Queen of Nigeria Pro-cathedral in Area 3 Abuja, Dorcas and Joshua were officially pronounced Husband and wife. The reception took place at Education Resource Center in Wuse Zone 7. If you are wondering why every event I cover is in Abuja then the answer is with you. Invite me for yours or send me photos and yours truly will be happy to cover yours too. More photos after the cut...

Celeb of the day: Happy birthday Mr Sesugh Hulugh

Wow; this is my first male celeb on TTB and I am proud to be the channel through which his wife is sending this romantic birthday message. Love nwan tin tin

'Happy birthday my Husband and friend, you are my celeb today and always. I ask myself everyday what I have done to please God to reward me with a crown like you; you have made me a proud wife and mother and I love you to bits and pieces. Have a great birthday now and always'- Mrs Tracy Nguvendan Hulugh

5 Lies that may "Preserve" your relationship

The crazy things I think of ehn. That’s why I am glad I have readers like you who will share these thoughts with me *blows kisses*. I was just thinking about an argument I had with some friends a while ago, it was a battle of the sexes who tells the most lies: Men or women. Anyone who is not biased will agree with me that this argument will be inconclusive so instead of going at each others' necks all the time I have decided to bring something good out of it (talk about nothing good coming out of Nazareth…Lol)

What your Excel spread sheet won't teach you

Financial experts have taught us to always make a budget to enable us check our expenses. A lot of people have adapted the use of excel spread sheets to do the budget most times even before the salary account is credited the money has already been spent on the spread sheet. There are even spread sheets online that have being prepared to help with your wedding budget so this way all you have to enter are the figures(yea; it is that easy so what’s your excuse?). It sounds very encouraging and accessible, in fact I know of people who work with it at every opportunity and they say it’s been really helpful to them but how feasible is it? Whether feasible or not, I have realized there are certain things the spread sheet won’t teach you. Find them out after the cut…

Celeb of the day: Happy birthday Mimi

Mimi celebrated another year added to her yesterday with a pool party that took place at Top rank hotel; as usual yours' truly was there live to bring you exclusive photos. More after the cut...

I had a dream.

Starting from when I was a little girl, I began having this dream. The dream kept reoccurring even as I grew older; some minor details began to change while others seemed to get clearer. The thing about this dream was that it always left a smile on my face and I had this dream even when I wasn’t sleeping. In my dream, I saw my dad walking me down the aisle; I looked so beautiful and happy in my pretty white mermaid wedding dress while clutching my bouquet tightly. As I walked along, I saw familiar faces all light up with a smile at the sight of me. ‘Wow, I must be very pretty’ I thought to myself; my brides maid were already seated, they looked exactly as I had envisioned in their turquoise dresses, well styled hair and perfect make up to wrap up the whole look. My mum couldn’t hide her excitement (as is typical with every mother of the bride), but my gaze was quickly moved to my groom (the faces often changed depending on who I was dating at the moment; lol) he’s smile made my heart beat faster and my feet move according to the rhythm of my heartbeat. He looked breath taking and I could tell he was nervous as I saw some sweat on his forehead before he’s best man could wipe it off. Somewhere in my head I could hear sounds of whistling from my aunties (the typical Tiv whistle), it was indeed a day of joy for everyone, I was amazed at the large crowd that came out to celebrate with me; I felt like a princess and I was happy my groom made this day happen.

Is wooing a thing of the past?

In Shakespearean English it is called wooing, modern slangs refer to it in different ways but most common is “toasting”.  I’ll give you my definition of both; wooing is a more romantic/ gentlemanly approach to getting a lady to date/ marry you while toasting is an impatient guys’ way to get the same result without doing the needful (for me the needful means being transparent and letting me get to know you and in the process of knowing you, please be at my beck and call..lol, ladies you can fill in the needful of your choice). Another point to note is that African or rather naija men toast (no wonder they were intelligent enough to coin the phrase*hiss*) while western men woo (insert love struck smiley), it’s no wonder we all are scrambling to get hooked up with “whiteys” (with other benefits though).

MEN; 50%man, 50%baby

I’ve been feeling guilty of giving more attention to female needs (but what do you expect now? I’m just being true to my roots) so here’s one for the fellas (can I get an Amen in the house? lol, I could only hear the echo of silence). So back to the matter; I’ve decided to talk about the emotional make up of guys to enable you know your man better; consider it a salah special (yea, I’m that generous). They may not admit it, but a lot of them are babies at heart which is quite good, in fact let me even add that if he is 100% man then you should run oo because there is ALWAYS a need for that playful part of them. It makes your relationship easier. Whenever you hear people say “I married my best friend”, this is part of it because I’m quite sure nobody wants to be friends with an uptight person (well I know I don’t).

If "sexy" is impersonated...

If sexy is impersonated, I wonder what she would look like. I know there’s a male and female sexy but pardon me, I’m only interested in the female sexy for now and you will understand why soon enough, just read on (winks). Scarlet Johansson (pictured above) has won the sexiest woman alive for the 2^nd time in a row now, I would love to use her as my prototype but unfortunately she is far from being African so please readers join me on the quest to find the ideal sexy African woman; hehehe

'I LOVE YOU'; How to tell when its cliche.

Let’s start by getting to understand the word CLICHÉ. It is defined in the oxford dictionary as ‘an idea or phrase that has been used so much that it is not effective or does not have any meaning any longer’. From this definition, I’m sure you will all agree with me that those 3 words have a tendency to lose their meaning easily. Quite often I’ve heard ladies say “he said he loved me, how could he do this to me?’ or guys who say “women are not to be trusted” “women are evil” and so on. All these wrong perceptions people have about love is because they fell victim to people who told them “I love you” without truly meaning it. For some time now this has really bothered me so I thought to bring it up so that we can all learn from each other. Since I don’t have all the pointers on figuring out when 'I love u' becomes cliché, I will give the few that I know and then you can add some.

The sting of death

Dedicated to all the loved ones we have lost

The moment you hear the devastating news is a moment you would give anything in the world to take back. In that instant you have a million flashes right before your eyes; the past you shared with the person, the present news of his/her demise and a bleak future without them in your life, all at once. That is the venom from the sting sinking deep into your system, intoxicating your mind, taking away your peace, joy and even sleep and replacing those with bitterness, fear of the unknown and no desire to be hopeful.

When will it get to me?

I was just going through my timeline on face book this morning when I noticed that my namesake whom we attended secondary school together has gotten engaged and I commented in her status “my namesy is getting married which means the queue has moved to M so everyone whose name begins with an M start dancing” (by the way the M stands for my native name for those who may be wondering). That comment actually got me thinking so I decided to share my thoughts with you.

Something's gotta give...

This is the very essence of co-habiting and as a result of our many differences as humans; something’s always gotta give. I can hear someone asking “what does that even mean?” I will use the illustration from the movie played by Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson with the same title (that movie actually inspired this article). Jack Nicholson plays the role of an old man with an adventurous spirit who likes to date younger girls and get all the excitement he can while at it. He then happens to start dating Diane Keaton’s young daughter and when they meet (Jack and Diane) she is not happy with the relationship and especially since she is an old fashioned introvert that believes things should be done a certain way. Eventually they both fall in love, jack has to give up his love for younger women and Diane also brings out the adventurous side of her from within.

The kitchen; A man or a woman's place?

Growing up as a child, my mom always made sure I was in the kitchen with her when she was cooking. As a young girl then, all I wanted to do was to play, watch TV or go over to my friend’s house. I had no business with the kitchen as far as I was concerned, it was boring. I only wanted to eat what came out of there. My mom never let me hear the last of it; how I wouldn’t make a good wife if I didn’t know how to cook.  And so I started by learning how to do the dishes, even when I wasn’t tall enough to reach the kitchen sink I was given a stool to stand on, she would ask me to help unwrap the maggi cubes, help hold the meat while she cut it and so on. Soon enough I started grinding pepper, par boiling rice, cutting okro and other little things. It really did feel good at that point because I began having a sense of responsibility that I contributed in cooking the food that everyone was eating.

What would you do?

If you woke up one morning (it is a working day), and you are sure you overslept then you turn to look at the time on your phone but your battery is dead and there's no light to charge it. You don't have another means of telling time, no wristwatch, no wall clock and no second phone. You also don't have other people living in your compound, no security guard, its just you. How will you get ready for work? Or would you rather not Go? Please send in your answers, they might save a person's job...lol

CELEB FOR THE DAY-Happy birthday Dr Avese Torbunde

Happy birthday Dr Avese Torbunde, we love you and wish you many more beautiful years ahead. Because your birthday is in line with Nigeria's Independence celebration, i would like to say a quick prayer for you. 'May you never be independent of God's Love and Favour in all your endeavours, but that he will make you Independent of  problems that causeworry in Jesus name' ...Amen

For others who would like to be celebrated with their loved ones on occasions such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries and the likes, please send your photo to ticiatowns@gmail.com; let the citizens celebrate with you

The art of Cakery

Once in a while i am going to sway from the usual stuff you are used to reading here, now is one of such times. One of my favorite channels on DSTV is  the Food network channel, i enjoy watching Cake boss, Amazing wedding cakes, Charly's cake angels... i am so thrilled at the creativity of those bakers. Gone are the days of plain boring round or square cakes; and the way they get their inspiration is a different ball game. They use cakes to depict one's personality and tell a story.

That really got me thinking about passion and dedication. Passion is the bedrock of every successful person and when backed with dedication; success is inevitable. We all need to find what we are passionate about. I know that the society we live in now does not really encourage you to do that  because you are even considered to be 'lucky' to get a job not to talk about leaving it to follow your dream of being a baker or tailor or even a hair dresser.

Once upon a time in Nigeria

Once upon a time, a very long time ago, Nigerians were able to travel overseas without a visa and 1 dollar was equivalent to 1 naira. 53 years down the line it is a different ball game all together. In fact we don’t only apply for visas; we have to pay a bond of 3000 pounds to enter the UK. What went wrong? What happened to the platform that was set by our colonial masters? We must have learnt something from them, at what point did we drop that lesson? For us to have gotten independence I believe that’s because we were mature enough to take care of ourselves.

Office politics

It is hard to imagine that in an organization that is rich in intellect, creative talents with young able minds, office politics will be found present. Then I ask myself, “Do we really have to bring someone else down to be on top?”  I thought one’s level of education and exposure was enough to teach them otherwise but in turns out it is even worse in high earn offices.

The time and energy wasted on back biting and bitterness might as well be channeled into some sort to good elsewhere, or have we forgotten so soon the story of the broom? (United we stand, divided we fall) Maybe I am wrong but I believe that your work will speak for you and stand you out as that is the approach I have with my job.

I decided to put up this story today being the eve of our country’s independence (Nigeria) so we could understand the gravity of what politics does even at the lower levels... Happy independence in advance.

Did he ask right??

Because I am such a hopeless romantic, I have thought out different ways I would love to be proposed to; if only he would ask my opinion but then it would spoil the surprise. Someone shared the story of how she was proposed to and i was so disappointed i silently prayed that my future husband would do better than that.

She said because of how close they were (you know that level of your relationship when you are so sure it is headed for marriage) her then boyfriend just looked at her one day and asked “so when are we going to meet your parents?” as if that was not bad enough, it was said in Ibo language *huh*

Based on that story, i am offering free tips to guys right here.

·        Listen to your girl- If you listen to your girlfriend, you will get an idea of the kind of proposal she might like. Some may not want an over the top approach so you can avoid being slapped instead of the YES you were expecting. lol

·        Partner with her Friend- Trust me; this will take a bulk of the weight off you. She can assist you with the planning, getting her ring size (if you don’t already know it) and also any info you missed out on when you let your mind wonder away while your girlfriend happily chatted away.

·        Be Romantic- If you know the number of times we have fasted, prayed and believed God for this faithful day you will put in a little more effort to compensate for it. We really want to brag about how we were proposed to so please don’t fall our hands...lel

She stoops to conquer

Recently I began to think about a certain novel I read in secondary school. It is titled ‘she stoops to conquer’. For those who studied literature in secondary school this should sound familiar. It came back to mind probably cos I now find myself in a similar situation (not that I am complaining*smiles*).

I am in a relationship with a huge football fan; ironically I could never stand football before I met him. It was always the cause of sibling rivalry between me and my younger brother;even in my past relationships this was usually the problem as i hated being ignored because soccer was on. I realized when i met him (name withheld) that i needed to do something different as i was tired of being mad and competing for attention with football. I think i had admitted defeat and gotten a new understanding that we both had our places in a guy's life (me and football) it was time to make a change; that change is what I call ‘stooping’.

Many other stories I’ve heard just go to prove that someone has to stoop (either the male or female) to make a relationship successful. Sometimes the guy reduces the way he hangs out, or the way he plays with other female. The lady on the other hand tends to develop more patience. Whatever changes we choose to make often works out well because we 'conquer' the ultimate price which is having your loved one to yourself forever. But why then does it change in marriage? I think the moment we find that out, we will be able to solve the problem of divorce in our society.