The crazy things I think of ehn. That’s why I am glad I
have readers like you who will share these thoughts with me *blows kisses*. I
was just thinking about an argument I had with some friends a while ago, it was
a battle of the sexes who tells the most lies: Men or women. Anyone who is
not biased will agree with me that this argument will be inconclusive so
instead of going at each others' necks all the time I have decided to bring
something good out of it (talk about nothing good coming out of Nazareth…Lol)
- ‘I am not at home’ or at home as the case may be: This may not really be used often as both parties may have keys to each other’s apartments but it is not to be ruled out. When you suspect your man/ woman is lying about their whereabouts, what would you do? Does it always mean the person is cheating on you?(Although in most cases they are). When you doubt that your partner is telling the truth and you barge in on him either one of these 2 will happen; he won’t be there as he rightly told you (which can stir up a fight because you don’t trust him) or he will be with someone who is not you .This second option will break my golden rule which is that what you do not know will not hurt you and either way you appear to be on the losing side so choose wisely.
- ‘You are the only one in my life’: I have heard this often but I can count the number of times I actually believed it but that’s not the point here, whether I believe it or not is not the issue, the issue is fighting to silence the investigative instinct that decides to rear its ugly face when you need it to stay quiet. If you have a partner that has the tendencies to be randy; just tell yourself that you will eventually attain sole ownership and begin to work towards it, I call it stooping to conquer. Sometimes it pays to be gullible and just take everything in; hook line and sinker.
- ‘I wish I could but I am broke’: Sorry guys but I have to take sides with my girls this time as this lie is often told by y’all. Guys say it’s not wise for the Girlfriend or wife to know how much they earn so each time a need arises they always claim to be broke; not too broke to hang out with the guys, or buy video games right? We know you are not as broke as you claim; and your refusal has helped us to gauge your level of stinginess so yea go ahead and clap for yourselves for failing this little test.
- ‘It wasn’t me…’ This is the highest level of irresponsibility in any relationship. Being caught red handed and claiming it was the devil, or alcohol or even jazz. It is so amazing how fast the brain can even think to make excuses at times like that; can’t you even give your partner that singular respect to own up to what you did? Are you saying he/she is blind and doesn’t know what they saw? That it worked for shaggy doesn’t mean you’ll be as lucky.
- 'He/She is just my friend/colleague': We all know that particular friend your partner has that you are not comfortable with right? The one who knows him better than you do, knows his past, hobbies, favorite food and they even spend the day together. Yea, we can perceive the attraction you both have conveniently refused to acknowledge. Not trying to rid you of your friends though but we ask politely; Please don't keep the ones that would intimidate us...Thank you.
Note that I said ‘Lies that will preserve’. If you want
your relationship to work then you can overlook them (I bet we are all in the
habit of making excuses for our loved ones anyway) but if you can’t stand their
lies, you have my support to dump their lying Asses (pardon my French) and when
you do, come back to ticiatowns for 5 guidelines to nurturing your
heartbreak....lol
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