With THESE I thee wed

Yes you read right. It’s not a typographical error; I meant to say “these”. Have you ever wondered how a little gold ring (some don’t even have the decency to buy you a gold ring sef, but going by the colour permit me to call it gold) is exchanged between a couple as they read their vows saying “with this I thee wed” and they go ahead to pledge their bodies, loyalty, submission, money and every iota of emotion and feeling to each other? Aren’t all these things enough to change that phrase to “with these I thee wed”? Whoever coined that phrase really needs to meet me for a one on one because right now I am bitter and out for a change*straight face*

I understand marriage to be a sacrifice of entirety, you give up your family, freedom, friends, some people give up their careers, religious background and even their sanity -putting up with a spouse and all the in-laws whom you have to respect even though deep down you just want to tell them how you really feel takes away your sanity (This is me trying to justify my use of the word sanity, but I’m sure you get what I mean). It amazes me to think that when it comes to immaterial things it is “our” but it is “my cheque book”, “my car”, "my shares" even to the extent of having separate bedrooms…seriously!!!  A few weeks ago I was at a wedding and when the groom was saying his vows, at the point when he said “I give you my body” the pastor jokingly chipped in “my lands and my shares” and everyone just laughed about it. Then it was really hilarious but thinking about it now I wonder if we should just laugh it off. It is alarming the rate at which signing pre- nuptial agreement is starting to creep into Nigeria. I don’t quite get the “wisdom” in that -of course I don’t, I only have my degree and my clothes to my name so where is the place for a pre-nup?  Is that how casual people have started taking marriage to be now? That they go in with the intentions of getting divorced later (yes I say so and stand by it because you wouldn’t need a pre-nup if your vows meant something to you) Ok back to the matter (my vexation was starting to get the better of me…yea I’m sensitive like that) I can already hear some doubting Thomas(es) and Tomiwa (female Thomas lol) saying it’s not true so let me put it this way; if you as a wife own a plot of land somewhere without your husband’s knowledge and the husband on the other hand has one coded business he’s wife isn’t aware of, let me just tell you both that you are even worse than those that have signed to keep their property a secret.

#GOLDIGGER ALERT#

I only hear about them, haven’t had the pleasure of meeting any cos like I said, I have only my degree and my clothes to my name so… anyway for the rich ones who think every man/woman is out for their money my only advice would be for you to be careful in choosing a spouse ; that’s prolly why rich people marry only rich people (and there goes my dream of marrying a rich guy *sad face*lol) and not just to think that everyone out there is out for your money because by being too careful you may just fall into the wrong hands but on a second thought  you can give the money to charity (me of course*winks*). More seriously though, we cannot deny the fact that they exist, but I think a man or woman who marries you not minding the intentions should not starve but should benefit from the crumbs that fall off your table. Well said? Or not? 

Not to be biased but it always comes down to women suffering these insincerity the most. A husband hides the truth about his finances; earnings and debts and later dies leaving the woman with no clue whatsoever how to go about it. The most annoying part is when he uses his sibling as next of kin...WTF!!! I might never understand the reason for this decision but my stand about this issue is obvious. If you are in, you best be all in because with these (your baggage, controlling family, health condition,my love for you and our finances put together) I thee wed.